Email to Maureen Dowd

Dear Maureen,

Thank you for your column 12/30/12. I'm sure it brought a lot of peace and healing to many people. I don't believe in God, Christian or any other, but I do believe in human kindness and  I respect the beliefs of others. I always knew there was some kindness in me even though I also saw disdain, uncaring, and  the hardness that grows as we age and experience life's trials, but it became much clearer to me recently  as I faced my sister's  death  and felt  somewhat surprised as I rose to the occasion, if such a thing is really possible. Perhaps we all have this capability but are afraid to show it in case it is seen as weakness and advantage is taken of us. But I learned from my experience helping my sister that many people admire kindness and wish to be part of it. For many hours and days  I sat by her side at the hospice as she gradually faded, and I watched her sleep and saw her smile at me as she  wakened self-conscientiously and  asked me to rub her feet or her back or get her some more water.  She never complained and  even as her life drifted away she seemed  more concerned  about others and showed appreciation of the attention I paid her even though it was the least I could do.  I saw the kindness of the doctors and nurses and attendants and even the custodians who carefully cleaned and sterilized the room each day. I saw the concern in the eyes of the volunteers who served me tea in the common room and sat with me and talked about life and death. I saw the  humanity in the parson who, even though he knew I didn't subscribe to his faith, still spent hours with me in discussion of many things. Each day as I arrived the receptionists would ask me how Marie was doing and how I was myself, and I felt that the entire hospice was one big human family of support. So maybe it's there in all of us and perhaps some of us need religion to show it. But the important thing is to recognize our own ability to be kind to one another and to care, and that's what really counts in the end.

Tom McManus
710 Ashcreek Court
Roswell, ga 30075
770 552 0417